Often these promises are made to God but if we are sincere in wanting to live those principles, then the promise is to ourselves as well.
When we fail to live up to the standards we have adopted, it is us who suffers. God will sorrow for us because He knows our pain but He is not angry and disgusted. He is hoping we will get this figured out and become consistent in our actions because it will bring joy and peace to our lives. We are the ones who get angry - angry at ourselves for falling short of our own expectations.
Let's look at this psalm and find some of those lovely I statements.
Let's look at this psalm and find some of those lovely I statements.
- I will sing of mercy and justice.
- I will behave myself wisely.
- I will walk with a perfect heart.
- I will set no wicked thing before my eyes.
- I will not know a wicked person.
The second part of the psalm diverts from the lovely tones of verses 1 through 4. What the writer does is so easy to do. He stops thinking about what he can do (think Covey's "circle of influence") and starts trying to alter the world around him. He goes so far as to say he will destroy the wicked out of the land.
It would be nice to live in a community where all are good but we really don't get to kill others to create our perfect world. So I choose to ignore verses 5 through 8 and put those into the historical context and secretly wish - or maybe not so secretly - that our scriptures didn't include such statements:)
Looking now at the five statements I highlighted, I will reflect on my own life and what I do to live these principles.
I WILL SING OF MERCY AND JUDGMENT
Mercy is defined as "compassion or forgiveness towards someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm." We usually think of mercy as something very beautiful.
The word judgment in a religious context can evoke a negative feeling or even fear because of the way we talk about the Lord judging us or the "last judgment".
Judgement actually is the ability to make thoughtful decisions or to come too sensible conclusions. It also means a decision of a court or a judge but is it not assumed that decision will be made thoughtfully?
Perhaps we need only add an adjective here to clarify. We are talking about using "good judgment". To say a person uses good judgment is a high compliment.
Good judgments seem as lacking in politics as is mercy.
When politicians choose to focus their campaign on tearing down their opponent instead of showing us what they plan to do to make America strong, is that not a lack of mercy?
When politicians choose to focus their campaign on tearing down their opponent instead of showing us what they plan to do to make America strong, is that not a lack of mercy?
When politicians tackle difficult issues like immigration and refugees with words that depict bias or stereotypes and then make laws that allow for no case-by-case consideration, is that not a lack of mercy?
When a politician is supported by his party because they need his vote even though he has committed crimes, is that not a lack of judgment?
When a president calls anyone who opposes his policies rude names, is that not a lack of judgment?
Examples abound. So how about me? How am I doing? It's always much easier to point out the faults of others.
I like the phrase "Give them the benefit of the doubt". Another saying by Dr. Wayne Dyer is "When given the choice between being right and being kind - choose kind".
Quoting from The Huffington Post writer Scott Stabile, "We all struggle with the insecurities of our ego, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove somebody wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we're being unkind in the process whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinction between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let's operate from our hearts, with kindness."
That last part about simply loving and accepting those on the other side of the conversation has challenged my thinking.
We were in a meeting the other night to make some tough decisions about which organization our stake will be supported with a request for humanitarian funds. This discussion led to a decision not to support one request while a go-ahead was given for another.
As we shared the reasons for this decision there were differing opinions, opinions with some emotion behind them. I realized that it was easy to feel opposition to the people - not to just the ideas. I had to admit that I was not loving those on the other side of the conversation. My ego was battling my heart.
This article also suggested that we use openness, detachment, humility, forgiveness, along with kindness.
Wow, what great tools for when you are tryng to solve problems. Be open and honest. We have to know and understand each other. Detach - we must deal with the issues - not the person who presents them. Let go of ownership. Put it on the table and let go. Be humble - it's not about right and wrong. Your ideas will not always be the best for a given situation. Your way of seeing things is not the only way of seeing things. Listen to others. Paraphrase what they have to say. Show them you understand.
Forgive - we all step on each other somewhere along the way. We say things, we do things, and we will be misunderstood at other times. "When the desire to forgive takes precedence, the need to be right dissipates, opening the door for a more conscience and healthy connection."
I'm glad I found this article this morning. Mercy and judgment are qualities I would like to develop.
It's easier to be like the pharisees to whom the Savior spoke, "Woe unto you, scribes and pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithes of meat and anise and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgement, mercy and faith; these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone."
I very much like how the Savior added faith to the mix here. If we use good judgment and extend mercy we must also exercise faith - faith that the other person will be worthy and accepting of our trust, faith that the Lord will bless our efforts since we are living those principles He taught.
Once again we realize that joy comes from living the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing that the Lord will support and strengthen us and those efforts as we seek His help.
I WILL BEHAVE MYSELF WISELY
Wisdom is intelligence that draws upon experience and acts with prudence or forethought. "Think before you act" is another way of saying this.
Unfortunately human beings are very complicated and often respond first with their feelings and don't always understand the source of those feelings.
Experience is a wonderful teacher. It is also a painful teacher. The road to wisdom lies through a myriad of choices and consequences both good and bad. Hopefully those experiences mold us and change us for the better.
It is a lifelong journey to always behave wisely. The more open we are to learning, when we can drop our defenses, we can learn much more quickly.
That simple statement "Think before you act" is a good starting place. Another starter is counting to ten (or a hundred) when you are feeling angry. The question "How is that working for you?" is another simple reminder to help you learn from experience.
I have been a slow learner, a late bloomer. My heart has always been in the right place but I have been naive with negligible "street smarts". I feel like at age 76 I am finally fitting the pieces of my life experience together. Maybe I have gained some wisdom along the way.
I WILL WALK WITH A PERFECT HEART
I love this phrase! It doesn't say anything about not making mistakes. It isn't about doing - it's about being.
I have a favorite story from my early years of mothering. I had a incident with one of my daughters and asked her to take time out in her bedroom and think about what she had done. As she walked down the hall toward her room she stopped and looking back at me said, "But I want to be good!" How to melt a mother's heart!
Oh, how many times in my life have I cried similar pleas to my Father in Heaven! Isn't that what the Apostle Paul was saying in Romans 7:19, "For the good that I would - I do not. But the evil which I would not, that I do."
Is there any question that Paul had a good heart? Or let's look at Nephi - a true Book of Mormon hero, a man who loves the Lord. We would all probably say he had a perfect heart. What does he say of himself? (2nd Nephi4: 26-27)
"Oh then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men has visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and sorrow... And why should I yield to sin?"
Perhaps one of the most hopeful of all scriptures comes from 1st Samuel 16:7.
"For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh upon the heart."
The Lord knows my heart just as I knew the heart of a little girl sent to her bedroom. She was so sweet and good as a child could be. But she had made a mistake and needed to think about it.
I often find myself in prayer having a similar conversation with the Lord. "You know I love you, Lord, and I want to do what is right but I have once again ___________. Put in any number of my human failings in the blanks there. It's good to have these conversations with Him. He does know my heart. I want to be good. And as often as I repent, He remembers my sins no more. His loving kindness and forgiveness gives me hope that one day in the eternities, my heart and my actions will be one.
I WILL SET NO WICKED THING BEFORE MY EYES
We are constantly making choices of how we will spend our time. Life is a constant series of choices. One choice we all make is about the things that surround us and the recreation we do.
My bottom line is simple. I choose to fill my life with beauty and there is so much beauty around us. Every picture hanging on our walls has some special meaning. Our yard reflects our love of God's world. The music we listen to inspires and uplifts us. We are always striving to create a respite from the world, a place of happiness where we both create and enjoy the goodness of life.
I WILL NOT KNOW A WICKED PERSON
In order to create our own Heavenly spaces, we have to associate with heavenly people. It has been my experience in life to discover that most people are really good.
I have an incredible family, good neighbors, and church friends who I love and trust. I have been blessed to live in safe places where war and crime have not touched our lives. That in itself is a marvelous blessing.
My fellow teachers in Farmington were the cream of the crop. The incredible experience my husband and I shared through the Personal Storehouse Project has connected us to the community in ways that have been humbling. We have realized that whatever good we may be doing with our lives is dwarfed by so many great people who are completely dedicated to making the world a better place.
When we look for the good in others we find it. Our lives are rich in good friends.
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